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You can come tonight and just hang out... crash on the couch, looking for ltr swm tatted up naked horny wives in mt Tulsa Oklahoma nc and wake up to Football atmosphere Order food, Drink up, shout ,im a Gill Colorado 18 year old scream, Creekside PA adult personals bring your office pool squares or fantasy porn Springfield Massachusetts porn  oral Went to give oral for hours love all females any size race just went to lick I'm x ' tall x lbs let's have some fun SBM Why I'll Never Succeed In The forum! Unlike some of the women who tell me that they spend an inordinate amount of time reading personals postings (I have tons of far more interesting books in my library for that), I've noticed some common (and hilarious) patterns from these women (I stopped posting serious inquiries myself some time ago). So being the intelligent person I am, I'd like to take a minute to breakdown these common posting attributes it down for you, ghetto style, so you can recognize the following horrific cliches that I stopped dealing with. Ready, Set, Go!!!! "Seeking a man that's at least x feet tall. I like to wear high heels" -- Although I am x ft even myself, Meet my match in Upperco Maryland does sex Portoferraio woman I have NEVER understood the female infatuation with male height (I used to field these questions myself, Meet my match in Upperco Maryland does sex Portoferraio woman ad naseum. "How tall are you?"). But since a certain height requirement seems to be a criteria with these women, how about we men adopt a weight requirement for YOU. . .just so you can see how ridiculous a "preference" is it (my PERSONAL "preference" is "intelligence," which would leave about x / x ths of the women posters out)? However, the AVERAGE American male height is x ' x , which means that most women want someone ABOVE AVERAGE. And what makes you think you warrant "above average" when most of you are average yourselves? Let's be real. That line about "I need a man at least x ft tall because I like to wear heels" is utter bullshit! WTF kind of shoes are you wearing anyway? Some shit from the lunar landing? The x 's are over...take off the f**king platforms! "Must love " -- Great... You mean I have to pretend to like your vicious, pug-nosed, ugly, rat-mixed breed pet long enough to maybe earn some kisses? Or that I should suck up to that huge half- -sized mutation you a "dog" that's physiy capable of kicking me out of your bed? How about the cat that's contemplating using my scrotum sack as a scratching post every time I walk around in my shorts? No thank you! "Looking for a God-fearing man" -- I get the biggest kick out of THIS xxx Ordinarily, I wouldn't question what people believe. If you like it, then I love it! But why should I be afraid of your own imaginary friend? Seems like you'd be better off to imagine something a little less hostile, like pixies or leprechauns. "Must like the outdoors" -- Barring a few shut- and hermits, most human beings like being outside to some some point. Sure, I'll go for a day hike with you. Does that mean I want to live in the woods for a month and wipe my ass with a pine cone? Not a chance! "Looking for friends first" -- Personally, I'm not looking for any more friends, with or WITHOUT "benefits." So you'll have to look over the fact that I'm probably going to ask you for your single sister (or friend's) phone number while you are busy being "friendly." Don't be mad...you're looking for "friends first," remember? "I'm looking for chemistry." -- As xxx poster put it, "chemistry is a class in high ." Just be real and say you have a set of personal standards and "preferences" that you are looking for in your romance-novel-inspired definition of a "real man" that most of us can't hope to meet. How's that working out for you as you stare at an empty bedside? "Must love " -- Unlike the mighty lion (who will and eat from rival males) I say the more , the better! We can open our own sweatshop and they can make you shoes. I'll be the manager (but if social services comessingle horney Louisville knocking, Creekside PA adult personals I didn't know anything about it)! "I like having fun" -- Whew! What a relief! I'm meeting too many women these days that think having fun sucks. I'm a big fan of fun myself! We have so much in common. "Must like to dance" -- Really? Have you ever met a straight man that wants to go dancing, unless he's a male stripper (in which case, we can just forego the "dancing" and you can just stick the xxx dollar bills down my briefs right now)? "I like going out, but also enjoy staying in for a quiet night at home" -- That's great, because staying home or going out and doing something are much the only xxx options you have. However, if you are still club- and bar-hopping as an older like you did x , x , or x years ago, then it's probably a safe that you still have that ish mentality to go along with it. I'll stay, YOU go. So in conclusion, I say that when you all wake up from that fever-dreams or your -induced hallucinations, you might want to come back down here to earth with the rest of us clear-thinking human beings and synch your expectations with reality! Happy Hunting. horney women in Monroe Arkansas Lady,Im an Alpha Male.CUM be my SLUT!  go out this weekend? I want x know that all guys aren't the same and aren't carrying around the same, tired excuses I have always heard. Respond with a picture of your face and what you think it means x be a guy in a serious relationship. If I love your picture and what you have x say, I will be happy x respond :)who wants me to blow him now Meanwhile, Creekside PA adult personals I will be looking at puppies! Free Tomorrow Im going to be bored tomorrow and im looking for a good time. I can travel or host just let me know either way. Im a white male, x ' x x lbs and in good shape. If you want to see my face send me a pic and ill respond with xxx Please put 'sexy' in the subject so I know you are real. Let me lick your ass while you get fucked.
 Drink my piss on a regular basis? Looking for FWB. No men. Drink my piss. THIS TURNS ME ON TO NO END...and I'm looking for a submissive cool ass chick to experience this with. When you search for porn on thephone sex girls a Judson Indiana subject, Creekside PA adult personals you always see this in tandem with degradation. My fantasy plays somewhat different. You give me head until I cum....THEN I want you to keep sucking until my cock goes a but soft and you start to drink my piss down....this is the slow sucking/ /sexual part I'm craving. I'll go slow so you don't miss a drop. My only requirement is that you be female...open to all ages as it will probably require a nicely seasoned female for this magnitude of kink. If you can host, we can meet now!!